Tuesday, March 05, 2013
A Really Good Headline
As a good Stepford staff member of Tertiary Care Center, TCC's intranet web page doubles as my home page. Every morning when I fire up the box I am greeted by perky articles about the Star Safety Team Member of the Week, the latest blood drive/fundraiser/politically correct spokesperson for Disease X, or warnings about parking restrictions due to construction. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with this. It's just part of working for a big corporation (which, let's face it, I do).
My complaint here is that whoever writes the headlines for Tertiary Care Center's intranet web page needs some remedial education. This morning the top caption reads:
A Benign Brain Tumor, a Malignant Tumor, a Love Story and a Doctor's Reassuring Presence
I haven't read the story, but I'm sure it is heartwarming. No doubt. Unfortunately when I read this, my twisted brain immediately produced the following:
...and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
...and Two Hard Boiled Eggs. Make That Three Hard Boiled Eggs
...and Six Weeks To Live
Rewrite, people! Rewrite!
My mind is even more twisted; the headline created in my mind the outline of a love story between the benign brain tumor and the malignant tumor! With the reassuring doctor standing by to bring the two lovers together.
Gah, I'd do it. I need a job :(