How Romantic
Here is this year's winning sentence from the annual
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest:
They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ... Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently.
This contest is unique: the idea is to submit a single sentence - the worst opening sentence of a novel ever written. It's named after Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, a successful but singularly ungifted writer who began his 1830 novel
Paul Clifford with the phrase, "It was a dark and stormy night." (He's buried in Westminster Abbey, believe it or not.)
In the "Dark and Stormy Night" category, the following submission won:
It was almost a dark and stormy night � not dark or stormy enough to be called that but just the kind of sweaty night that makes your shirt stick to your back and make you wish you were still at home with the air conditioning and eating pig skins and watching the Martha Stewart trial on TV.
I like it.
posted by Dr. Alice at #
