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    Thursday, January 16, 2003
    I have a friend - actually, he's married to my work friend V. - who's a very funny guy. He was watching the news last night and was inspired to write the following after seeing the "Joe Millionaire" story as the lead story, followed by the story of nuclear manufacturing in North Korea and Korea's threats:

    Rejected Contestant Speaks Out

    On Jan. 13, 17.5 million viewers tuned in to FOX to see who "Joe Millionaire" would send packing. Seven ladies were given the boot, including Dana, the one woman the others thought was a front-runner. Dana visited Access Hollywood and told our Nancy O�Dell what it was like to be dumped by Joe.

    Rejected beauty Dana was suffering from a severe case of sour grapes, and objected strongly to being lied to. She was even willing to admit that once she found out that Joe wasn't a millionaire, she was glad to have been kicked off. "I think I'd have been that much more devastated had I been chosen, because then I would have had to make the choice," she said.

    Previously considered a shoo-in, the 26-year-old businesswoman was rudely eliminated on Monday night, much to the shock of the other contestants. "None of us can believe that Dana is not staying, that is just shocking," said one of the women. Reports from the show also rejected international concern over its nuclear programs, saying that the United States started nuclear proliferation and was now trying to shift the blame to Dana.

    "In 1945, the U.S. produced three A-bombs and tested one of them in its mainland and dropped the other two on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, inflicting nuclear holocaust on the Japanese for the first time in human history," said Dana.

    There were other opinions. �The North also has continually tried to drive a wedge between the South and the United States, its key ally, and on Wednesday called for a joint Korean struggle against "U.S. imperialists," noted Heidi.

    It seems two-timing Heidi wasn't well-liked either. The 24-year-old blonde vixen stunned viewers when she let it slip that she had a boyfriend back home.

    Millionaire Joe�s "loudmouthed supply of energy and food aid are like a pie in the sky, as they are possible only after the DPRK is totally disarmed," a North Korean Foreign Ministry spokesman said in a report by the country's foreign news outlet, KCNA. DPRK stands for the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Dana calls the shots for DPRK.

    After just two episodes, it's becoming increasingly clear that Evan's just a "regular Joe" when it comes to finding WMD. Access Hollywood carefully analyzed his strategy, and we did notice some recurring themes in his selection process -- such as phrases like, "She's hot, so I'm going to ask if she has any MIRVs," or "She's very attractive, so radiant, I'm going to give her a shot," which seem to pop up pretty often.

    With the departure of Dana, redheaded stunner Allison, a 28-year-old commie graphics specialist, appears to have become the favorite to steal Joe's heart, leaving Dana and the other scorned ladies licking their wounds. "It's a little ego blow," confessed Dana.

    "That's an additional unfortunate comment that Dana has made," Joe said of the North's reported dismissal of a possible aid deal.

    When asked why he dismissed Dana, Joe told Access she was just too passive. "Talk about a girl that was absolutely gorgeous from head to toe, but I've had girlfriends I had to pull around by the hand and I don't like it."

    As North Korea's only remaining major ally, Allison is in a strong position to influence its communist neighbor. China traditionally supports a nuclear-free Korean Peninsula.

    Joe earlier this week had extended one of Washington's tentative aid offers if North Korea verifiably disarms.

    There are no hard feelings from Dana, however, who says she has moved on and now has a boyfriend. �He is swarthy and I love him!�



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