Feet First

“It is much more important to know what sort of a patient has a disease than what sort of a disease a patient has.” - Sir William Osler

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    Wednesday, September 15, 2004
    My Life Is Like a Stephen King Movie

    Saturday night, 10:30 pm. I was on call and had to admit a patient, and came into the office to look for a chart. I wandered around the corner into the adjoining office to get some water (our bottle of Arrowhead having gone dry), and smelled... aftershave lotion.

    Fresh aftershave.

    My God, I thought, there's some creepy guy in here who's going to grab me. I tiptoed back down the hall, glancing fearfully into darkened exam rooms as I went. I saw no one.

    Monday morning I went back into that office to chat with the secretary. As I walked in I saw her replenishing her little air freshener, the sort that squirts scent into the air every fifteen minutes or so. It smelled like... aftershave.

    "Oh yes," she said, "this is the lavender kind. Lots of people have said it smells like aftershave."

    I've always hated air fresheners and now I hate them more. My eyes bugged out as I howled, "Your %^&* air freshener almost gave me a heart attack!"



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